Watermelon, what melon?

I hate squirrels.
With a fervent fever, I hate them.

I took a morning stroll in my garden looking for ripe tomatoes to pick before the squirrels get to them, and to my horror and found a discarded 1/8th eaten baby, like one week old, watermelon! Oh the terribleness of it all!! Of course you discarded it you stupid squirrel. It was no where near ripe! It had barely begun to live.

The squirrels have managed to kill every baby watermelon that has tried to exist, minus one. That one is about the size of a softball right now. I have been rooting for it all summer. I hope it makes it. I will strangle a squirrel with my bare hands if I so much as see paw prints on it.

I was really excited last weekend to see that I might be blessed with 2 watermelons. The squirrels just crushed my soul.

My plan for the squirrels is total annihilation.

My garden, my inspiration, my roots itch

I failed a lot this summer in my garden. It's okay though. I think I expected it, but did not want to admit it. I found things to blame it on like the weather or squirrels, but truth is, I had grand plans and I did not do all my homework or side work.

I dug out my potatoes yesterday. The hard part about growing them is you never see them until you dig them out. So I greedily reached my hands in the soil expecting to find such a bounty (as I had actually dreamed about a few nights before) and was greeted with handful after handful of dirt. There were a few potatoes. 8 to be exact, and all about the size of a grape. How disappointing. I am sure I will enjoy the potatoes still. (Imagine me cutting small thin sliver after sliver off my tiny potatoes...)

There were other fails in my garden. The squash. The watermelon (still debatable). The English peas. Tomatoes with bottom rot. Peppers with bottom rot. The list goes on.

I still have a lot to learn. And I have all winter to come here and dissect what I did and did not do. Not much grows besides herbs on my window sill during winter. Speaking of which. I killed my thyme. Literally and metaphorically.

Things to come:
Squirrels and my plans to poison their frequent picnics on my patio table.
Why I believe garden spiders are the most scary garden creepy crawlers.
Should I burn the forest of weeds in my neighbors yard.(Forest being an understatement.)